T is for TIRED..

Today is one of those days that I am just damn tired..

You know the one when it feels like bed is on the only place in the world you would like to be..

Its my first day off in awhile and the nightshifts are killing me, I know thats a factor in my present state of mind but what I wouldnt give to just plug into the closest wall socket and recharge!

If only right!

Here’s hoping your Monday is going really well or ending really quickly xx

Sending love from me to  you

xx

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Child Support Australia should be renamed GPAS – Government led Parental Alienation Scheme!

Child Support

“Helping separated parents to provide the necessary support for their children’s wellbeing”

 

This was taken directly from Child Support Australia’s website, what an absolute joke.

Did you know the following?

  • Did you know that a paying parent cannot request a Child Support Case to be opened?  The paying parent does not have the right to request that a case be opened. This happened in our case. We were told no. The reason we asked was because the money which was being privately sent was according to the receiving parent not being received. We were receiving constant abuse via phone and text message and more and more demands for money. In order to solve the problem we contacted Child Support Australia to ask that a case be opened and the money be paid to them so that a track could be held and there would be no further issues. Do you know what they said? NO. You cannot request this, it needs to be requested by the other party!!

Are you kidding?? NOPE! Do you know what Child Support Australia ADVISED us to do next? Well they told us to stop paying.. yes you read that right. STOP PAYING. That way the other parent would contact them of their own free will and create the case so it can be opened. Yes, that right there is logic folks!

  • Did you know that any information taken from the mother without proof regarding a paying father is taken as gospel by Child Support Australia and investigated to every degree possible. The paying father has no choice but to defend and produce evidence to prove his position based on a false accusations. I am quite sure this happens all the time and we are not the only ones hit with this little gem. Recently we started having the children regularly on weekends, this was outside of the court orders (lets just point out that no judge would stop regular visitation of children in this manner and would presume that this is just normal and doesn’t require stipulation in a legal document). This went on for a few months and so we notified Child Support Australia of the change in circumstances. WELL.. We provided all of the evidence including text message information, dates that this occurred etc. This was accepted by Child Support Australia. They then contacted the other parent to confirm this information. The minute this occurred you can guess what happened.. The other parent decided that this would no longer happen due to the change in Child Support Money she received! YEP GPAS! Government led Parental Alienation Scheme. We were advised by Child Support that this was not in the court orders despite the admission that it had occurred and as it would no longer happen it would not be considered in our case.

So lets get this right, you are required to notify Child Support Australia of any change and they have the right to investigate this which is normal and logical. HOWEVER should the other party decide that due to the changes and effect it would have on their payments that they no longer wish to continue with this visitation they are allowed to simply stop it. So this Government agency allows the ability for its participants to use the system as a tool to alienate parents from their children on the grounds of payments. But lets flash back to that tag line of theirs..

“Helping separated parents to provide the necessary support for their children’s wellbeing” –  WAIT.. who are we helping again?

  • Did you know that whether you have care of the children for 2 nights a year or 51 nights a year you are required to pay the same amount?! Lets brake that down for a minute.. 2 nights… For this example lets say Friday night and Saturday night. You pick them up Friday after school, you still need their clothes and two dinners, one lunch or maybe two if you take them back later etc. You have your normal costs of just day to day things they will need, basically its unlikely that this will be a huge expense. Now lets think about 51 nights of care.. we are talking about a little over 7 weeks. Who in their right mind would believe that the cost of 7 weeks of care would be the same as 2 nights of care?? 

Whether the care is in bulk lots as it is in our instance or not how can 7.2 weeks of care not equate to any difference in the primary carer’s costs? Are you joking? Let me put this into perspective for you.. If you are on holiday and your children are in Holiday care, Day care, are looked after by their grandparent or anyone else would you expect them to pay for your children’s expenses and then PAY YOU AS WELL? Im sorry, I am a logical and rational person, 2 nights a year is a pebble in the ocean, 1 week in a year is a pebble in the ocean 7 weeks has an impact. Bulk time periods have an impact. This calculation is archaic and obsolete.

If you cant tell this is one particular instance where fury is rising like a phoenix from my soul at what is going on in this system. Today I have been pushed too far friends and my coffee was burnt which just topped it right off (hahahaha)

It is very clear that this system gives the ability to people and I do say people because I would imagine that there are genders on either side of this being unequally treated by this system.

Tell me your story.. I can only guess there are thousands out there of this absolutely ridiculous system.

Yours Sincerely,

Becoming a Stepmum

xx

 

 

 

Wedding Bells are Ringing!

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Well its starting to get close to the date now !!

I cannot believe that we are getting so close to our actual wedding date! There is so much excitement swirling around us as we make all of our final preparations. I imagine that the nerves and excitement is the same for all of you ladies out there going through (or who have gone through) their own weddings.

As to be expected we have certainly had our ups and downs but for the most part everything has gone well. Things we going really well with the kids and they were so excited in the lead up for our wedding as well.

Funnily enough everything had been going as normal with the little ones and we were getting to spend some great quality time with them over weekends in the lead up.. that was until we were advised that we would no longer receive any time on weekends.. in fact any other times full stop! Wait.. what???

Enter the bombshell…

SO essentially what had happened was there was an amendment to the amounts which would be paid to BM because we were having more nights then we had before.. well of course there would be, if we were having more nights we would be covering more costs, as soon as that was realised that was the end of that!

The minute there was any change to the monetary amounts which were being received visitation stopped. We were absolutely gutted and you know what so were the kids, now we aren’t allowed to see them on weekends at all, I have no words to describe how angry I am.. WELL thats not true, I have words but I am probably not allowed to use them here!

So we were told that if we want to see them more then we could pay for a lawyer to change our orders and allocate us more.. Gutted..

With all of the costs for the upcoming nuptials its back to struggling to save up for another battle for my soon to be husband just to spend time with his little ones. A terrible thing to have weighing on his conscious when we should be so excited about our upcoming wedding. I guess that may have been the reasoning behind it..

Stay tuned to see what happens next, keep it all crossed for us!

So it looks like my business will go on hold and I will be off to work again..

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So I am thankful that in the current job climate I have landed a new role.

Although I am excited about this new opportunity and lord knows we need the extra income right now, I am a little sad to be officially putting my own business on hold.

I find myself torn between happiness to take the pressure off our financial situation and frustrated that I need to change my path.

Ultimately I understand that in order to be able to even survive financially this is what I need to do BUT it frustrates me to no end that in order for us to SURVIVE this is what I need to do.

I think it bothers me the most when I hear that BM is planning another overseas trip and I am deciding whether I can get away with not purchasing groceries for one more week ..

Its not fair.

I also find myself worried about what this will mean for DF & I having children… this bugs me a lot.

The constant organiser/planner looks at the financial side of things and thinks this is going to be impossible, how will we ever be able to think about our own family.

Then the woman in me thinks why do I have to wait, if I wait much longer I may have trouble even having children .. again that is so unfair.

I am trying very hard to be upbeat about this situation and remember that we need to find a path through this hardship that allows us to have what we want irrespective of the current situation ..

So I guess this blog post is to be continued..

Nxxxx